we can start again
hello to everyone I love.
I want to tell you how I turned 41 and how it was quiet and grounding. I want to tell you that I am safe. I am housed. I am fed. I have access to water. I am loved and held by so many. I have room to grow and freedom to move. I am connected to my breath and in an enduring and constant re dedication to supportive practices with my body and my spirit. I hope you are, too. I want to tell you about the long drive lined with autumn’s trees that I took to the big city and the treasures I found at the goodwill bins and trader joe’s. I want to tell you about the delicious chocolate cake my new friend made me and all the dreams I have for the spaces I am in.
I also want to tell you that after much practice, no amount of bypassing the news with my spiritual positivities can keep my body from knowing. I am finding the line of taking regulating breaks versus playing into my willful ignorance / ignoring what is. While I witness all this senseless destruction, I am challenged to feel okay enough to continue trying to build our new world here and now. Impermanence lends itself to a faith that everything is sacred. As I type this, I hear the wild geese flying overhead. A glowing yellow reflects from the maple tree just outside my window and I think of Mary Oliver’s wild geese she compared to the world offering itself to our imagination.
I’m sure many of you are busy surviving capitalism and maybe even trying to conjure your own joys to temper all this felt heartbreak. Collective heartbreak is a sign of our love and interconnection. If you are grieving these losses then you are in opportunity to reject beliefs that lead to harm. I assume most people working full time jobs and caring for others here might not have the ability to prioritize the time or emotion to understand the crisis happening elsewhere. For me, I have to name it. I have to know and trust we are all holding one another and looking at this together.
We are global citizens with responsibility to our humanity, to each other and to the Earth we call home. We all deserve a safe home in our bodies and a life we can authentically live. Our freedoms are intrinsically linked. My heart is broken for this world and all our made up wars, especially the ones that get less of our attention. And right now, our attention is what we do have to give and it’s being weaponized against us. Under what conditions do wars start? Where are they? Who would benefit from having that land wiped? What ideologies planted this division? Are governments made up of wealthy “public servants” actually serving the people they were meant to?
I believe the work of The Great Reckoning era / Information Age is to name aloud the nuances of violence and defense that are both outside and inside of us. As members of this society, with these specific and intentional narratives programmed into each of us, we are still learning how to reject these harms. We are still practicing our freedom from perpetuating this trickle down dysfunction onto each other and ourselves. I must build up whatever mental fortitude, emotional tools & supportive rituals I need to live in this time period WITH community, in relationships and conversations. This is how we integrate all of the input. We were never meant to hold any of this alone. We were never meant to rebuild by ourselves. We are meant to receive this information so we may move forward with better understanding and efforts. The choices we make today are often influenced by our past. If therapy has taught me anything it’s that when we hold ourselves accountable, we have the power to change our future. WHATS MY PART?
To preface this newsletter: I am against and will never justify terrorism, genocide, theocratic ethnic cleansing, or state sanctioned violence, including what my own country is responsible for. I reject dehumanization. I reject hierarchy and the spirit of self-righteousness. I strongly oppose collective punishment harming innocent civilians. My understanding of reactive abuse does not mean I condone abuse. My stance is forever in harm reduction and a felt sense of right relationship. I believe curiosity is the way forward. What can be learned here?
“If you want the moon, do not hide at night. If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns. If you want love, do not hide from yourself.” Rumi
LOOKING AT OUR SHADOWS // After seeing the discrepancy of what was reported to be happening by the mainstream media vs. what was actually happening during the Portland protests of 2020, I understand to notice with my eyes who the militarized presence are facing vs who they are protecting. The teachers, school administrators, nurses, and doctors I knew who were on the frontlines of these protests getting gassed were labeled ANTIFA (meaning “against fascism”) as a terrorist group. Make it make sense. My interest in a world wide tool of connection is the ability for individuals to directly share their lived and LIVE experiences, as a primary source of information and to organize for liberation for all since I understand liberation for some is liberation for none.
The following information has come from Palestinian and Jewish voices I am listening to & verified resources they have shared because I want to understand why this “war” felt necessary and to who. I grieve for the innocent civilians— 1,400 Israelis and for the 7,000+ Palestinians —who have died in this last week. The more I listen deeply to anyone who has historically and statistically less societal power than I do, the more I learn, grow, and expand my mind. The more I try to see beyond what I currently have access to understand, the more space I create to authentically live free and ensure the freedom for our children.
Because I love many people who only know to unquestionably source their news from biased places, I tend to compare multiple news sources from different political affiliations. I also try to gather from news sources outside of the USA and always check the UN or Amnesty International. These are all distilled information of one person sharing information they learned, with their own understandings, motives, and biases. Secondary sources to first hand accounts, which are primary sources that can include stories, data tracking, historical facts, etc. I hope to be of service in navigating the unreliable misinformation and corrupt agendas of our politicized media but I also feel very lost in it. I deeply appreciate journalistic integrity at this time AND I think we’ve validly lost a lot of trust for news outlets run by billionaires with their own agendas. Why did they buy them? What do they gain by determining “truth” or what stories get told? How does this impact our two party political system?
15 years ago I made a friend whose care was deep and apparent. She had recently came back from Gaza and I listened to everything she told me because I understood how much her experience changed her. Daniela’s stories are where I started from. I am a mistake making human who is happy to hear from you about any lack of info I have and encouraging you to do your own work. None of us really know shit—especially if you think you do— so it is important to band together to figure it out, learning with and from each other. Honored to be learning together. Here are some things I’ve mined from the internet and all the questions I’m asking, starting with, “haven’t we all had enough exchange with bureaucracy to distrust a little that maybe those in charge might not actually know better?”
“The children are always ours, every single one of them all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality. “ James Baldwin
Media Literacy is about curiously engaging what media we consume. Let’s question it! Who is telling the story? What do they gain or lose by their spin? Whose voice is left out? Please consider the bias certain headlines create—who is labeled a terrorist and who is not. The word “terrorist” is defined as a person who uses unlawful violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims. “Terrorism” is defined as the use of violence, especially murder and bombing, in order to achieve political aims or to force a government to do something.
Israel, the US, the UK, & the EU have defined the militant resistance Hamas as a terrorist group. Some countries like New Zealand say only the Hamas military wing is a terrorist group. Many countries and the UN believe the violence Hamas enacted—much of it falsely reported— is a retaliation of the dehumanization the Israeli government has placed on the Palestinian people Hamas governs. They are funded $100 million annually by Iran. The Israeli military is funded $3.8 billion annually by the USA. None of this is hidden information.
The Hamas seem to have an agenda to “completely eliminate Israel” but it’s not clear to me if that is the Israeli government as the state violently occupying their land or the Israeli people, who are primarily Jewish. (I’m guessing the state) To Palestinians, is Hamas the “armed group” meant to protect the people they govern? Are they not resistance fighters? If Hamas is a terrorist group, wouldn’t the Israeli military terrorizing Palestine since 1967 also be? 6000 bombs in five days, still unceasing. Or is there a free pass because their God wants them to have the land? Why would anyone believe in a God who justified this? Is Zionism a nationalist movement? Why don’t other countries think Hamas is a terrorist group? (I can’t find any information on the other wings of Hamas. Am I to believe there are humanitarian wings?)
Not everyone living within these governing systems stands with them. Both want secured land to live on and rights to live in. Only one of these groups currently has this. This is about land rights and human violations rooted in weaponized religious dogma, varying realities, and worship of the written word. Why is my country condoning via our tax money so much violence to innocent civilians? Western imperialism (economic, political, and religious motives to expand influence and gain power in demand for resources, markets, and the prestige of having colonies) has changed the way we view war since before western imperialism because that’s how stuck we are inside white hegemony. We know power tends to corrupt and un-examined hurt perpetuates hurt. We must recognize white supremacy and genocide are a global project and are perpetuated by the slow drip of fear mongering indoctrination. TIME TO DISRUPT. There is enough resources and land for everyone if distributed properly. We do not need to fight each other.
I STAND WITH ANTI ZIONIST JEWS FOR A FREE PALESTINE
BEING ANTI ZIONIST DOES NOT MEAN BEING ANTI SEMITIC
CALLING FOR A CEASEFIRE IS NOT BEING ANTI SEMITIC
IT IS NOT ANTI SEMITIC TO BE CRITICAL OF A RIGHT WING ISRAELI GOVT
OUR LIBERATION IS TIED TO THE LIBERATION OF ALL
WHAT THEY DO TO THEM THEY WILL DO TO YOU
WE ARE ONLY AS FREE AS OUR NEIGHBOR IS FREE
BRIEF HISTORY OF THIS DYNAMIC* // 1930s early Nazism began with book banning censorship and harassing queer spaces. I name this for a reason. What could they get away with? Who would resist eradicating minority groups? What did their freedom threaten? What did it say about a culture that justified the mass murder of eleven million people by the Nazi party and their collaborators? When did we finally choose to say “this is enough”? After WWII, tens of thousands of Jewish people fled to Palestine from Europe post war, siting there was no home for them where they had been subject to antisemitic persecution and deadly violence for centuries before the Holocaust. (the term “holocaust” refers only to the genocide of six million Jewish people) They deserved a land they could feel safe in. This particular land was promised to them by Britain in 1917 to secure Jewish support for WWI. This land was Palestinian land, where Palestinians had survived other occupations of this land and can point to the graves of generations of their ancestors. Why did Britain think it owned it?
By 1949, the Israeli government was founded with a clear mission to create and protect the aforementioned promised Jewish national home. Subsequently, over 750,000 Palestinians were forcibly and violently removed from their homeland and since then have been dealing with displacement. The term “Apartheid” refers to the implementation and maintenance of a system of legalized racial segregation in which one racial group is deprived of political and civil rights. You can spot apartheid just by looking at the urban fabric of a land over time. We cannot justify what has wrongly happened to Jewish people should also wrongly happen to Palestinian people.
Israel's occupation since 1967 has been characterized by settlement expansion that aims to permanently alter the ethnic demographics of East Jerusalem and amounts to a war crime. There are anti-zionist Jews who believe in a free Palestine. That is to say that Palestinians (who make up 20% of Israel’s population) deserve to be treated like human beings, with dignity. In Palestine, there are Muslims and Christians and Jews that all live peacefully together. Gaza has been established as an open air prison / concentration camp since 2005. Palestinians deserve the ability to move freely, live freely, rebuild their homes. To fish, farm, and collect water in their own land without the constant occupation, harassment, surveillance, militarized presence, unjust systems, land theft and murder by the Israeli government over the last 75 years. ALL WELL DOCUMENTED.
This will be the fourth war Israel has waged on Palestinian territory since 2008, killing thousands of civilians. By 2014, The Israeli government had destroyed 215 water wells in Palestine. (Water wells take 15 years to build.) 97% of the water is undrinkable. Currently, there are 638 temporary checkpoints & 129 permanent checkpoints that Palestinians must cross EVERY SINGLE DAY to meet their needs. For 20 months every Friday in 2018-2019, there were unarmed, peaceful protests from Palestinians along the Gaza borders. The Israeli government shot dead 223 Palestinians and injured more than 10,000 during those protests. This is a people already living under occupation for so long, still choosing to peacefully resist.
*THE BRIEFEST // this information excludes any of america’s history of war mongering in the middle east which would be worth personally investigating and understanding. and all of this is only scratching the surface. Why has the US voted against a ceasefire in Gaza multiple times in the UN assembly?
WRAP IT UP CARA // If the Israeli government has a problem with a militant force, they should go after that militant force, not millions of innocent civilians who are being bombed with billions of dollars of weapons by both air and ground invasions. Hamas has 200 hostages and Israel had over 5,000 before Hamas attacked on Oct 7. What’s the problem? Is it Palestinian resistance tactics or the Israeli government’s nationalist occupation? Most of the Palestinian people were born into that concentration camp and unable to leave. What choices do they have? To sacrifice themselves to the violent resistance or to die trying to live within this Israeli take over?
Because of the violent occupation and subsequently short life span, 65% of Gaza’s population is under the age of 24. 47% under 18. The median age being 18 years old. Just under half of these reported 7,000 documented dead are children. We are watching genocide happen live on television and on our pocket computers and being gaslit in ways I cannot comprehend. To what extent do Palestinians have to participate in the Israeli Zionist reality? To what extent, should the Palestinians participate in the slow genocide of themselves for the last 70+ years?!
If one side can turn off all the electricity and internet and the food and the gas to the other side, maybe war isn’t the right word.
If one side is 47% of children under the age of 18 and the other side one of the world’s strongest militaries with a literal nuclear power then maybe war isn’t the right word.
If one side can close off the entrances and exits to the territory of the other side and not let humanitarian aide enter, maybe war isn’t the right word.
I BELIEVE IN HUMAN RIGHTS AND THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE
DEMAND A CEASEFIRE FROM ALL PARTIES TO END CIVILIAN SUFFERING
I want us all to contact our reps and demand ceasefire AND I think the US government has too much to lose in this relationship with the Israeli government to actually listen to the people. We should do whatever we can so ask them anyway. Tell them who they are representing. Let your voice be counted. May we all stop dehumanizing people we have been brainwashed to dehumanize. HOLD TO YOUR HUMANITY. HOLD TO YOUR HEART. This is one wake up call out of many calls that have happened for years and years before now. May we all see with shared realities and clear vision of what we can create together. May we hold close the belief in a future where we are unified by our humanity and liberated from the pyramid schemes of harm.
DIVEST FROM THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM // DISAVOW FROM BINARIES
PEOPLE OVER PROFIT // LOVE OVER RULES
ANCHOR IN YOUR HUMAN SPIRIT // POWER TO THE PEOPLE
// FIELD NOTES
John Green’s history crash course of the area HERE
Jewish Voice for Peace call in to the US Government to ceasefire
Holocaust survivor and trauma expert Dr Gabor Mate talking about Israel & Palestine
FARIHARO ROISIN has all the info.
the Palestine Film Institute for films from Palestinian artists
From Grace Rother’s newsletter: Together we are grieving. Are you talking with the ones you love about what is happening? It is easier to hold all of the information if you can speak it out loud, even if it doesn’t make the details any gentler. This conflict has been a part of our whole lives. That can make it hard to distinguish from everything else but I promise, even if you feel nothing, especially if you feel nothing, you have not lived through it unscathed. Call your elected officials and demand support for a ceasefire and then call your friends and hold one another.
I LOVE YOU ALL