the pattern grows clearer
On my wall, as a centering piece along my altar, is an illustrated poster a friend sent me that reads “I FORESEE THE END OF CAPITALISM”. Every morning in the dark, I bow before the window sky just above this sign and say thank you for another day. I often say “help” or “ceasefire” as I light my candle. Sometimes I collapse in sobs. Today I immediately painted a landscape. What are we to do while they bomb the children and we are forced to foot the bill? And now they’re splitting Gaza for a canal? wtf. If you care about people, this should infuriate you.
“It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.”
―Mark Fisher,Capitalist Realism: Is There No Alternative?
And yet, we have to keep on living. and sometimes that grief stricken “what’s the point” can become “there is plenty enough to go around” when you notice others are grieving, too. We are out here thinking there’s somewhere else to be when on some plane, we chose to be here right now at this time. We continue choosing to be here. To come into this realm of suffering is a process of remembrance and of discouragement. Maybe generational trauma has increased our capacity towards sensitivity and feeling. Maybe it’s on purpose that there are canaries in the mine of this planet and these people trying to save themselves. The transition starts with awareness and it’s starting whether you acknowledge it or not. It feels scary because it’s unfamiliar, not because you are incapable. I am here to remind you to be kind to yourself when navigating disillusionment and the change that it births.
Did you know “hippies” were invented by intelligence agencies to discredit the seriousness of the anti-war movement? Now would it be “antifa”, or “liberals”? or is it “sensitive snowflakes” protesting everything? All the while they try to normalize mass violence and exterminating people. When it’s not overt, they’re withholding fair wages to keep people in poverty or watching them die because they can’t afford healthcare. All for the pyramid scheme that is capitalism. Up until the pandemic, I didn’t know we could have money and housing and food and healthcare. I didn’t know the depths of how the earth and her sky and her water would flourish without our constant exploitation of her. We changed. Then we went back to “normal” but now we all know what we could be. And we know this while seeing our imperialist “leadership” cough up $10 billion to genocide. Wiping out now over 11k Palestinians, over 4500 were children.
I do not know much but what I do know is how tired I am living in the imagination of men. The violence, the wars, the greed, the oppressive and divisive culture. May the political heroes of the left denying Palestinian safety be a reminder that no politician will save us. May the celebrities rooting down in an anti zionist = anti semite misinformed stance remind us that even money won’t keep us safe from propaganda. We got everyday people—many of them in the water are from the Suquamish and Puyallup tribes— who were blocking the weapons being shipped. Hundreds of thousands of citizens—many of them anti zionist Jews —filling the streets to call for a ceasefire. How can anyone justify anything but a ceasefire?!
And I have hope. Here is why. For the first time in our history, we have the technology to see people reporting from these places in real time. We witness the discrepancies between what they tell us to believe vs what is actually happening. We are all connected. In a way we cannot deny. The more we attune to our collective spirit, the more we deconstruct within. Because we are all connected, the structures we dissolve internally are the structures we dissolve externally. Therefore the biggest tool we are building in this Information Age/Knowledge Era is around emotional processing. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. And it is a lifelong process so never too late to start where you are.
I also want to name that it is important to never wish ill will on anyone. It’s a true waste of our spirit and energy to dehumanize or other any person or group. We were all created equal and we should treat each other with respect and understanding. We must let go of all this pain, guilt, shame, resentment, anger—which means we must make room to first FEEL it so we can meet our needs and not perpetuate aggression. All of creation is sacred. That means the trees that give you breath, the soil that grows your food, and the beautiful unique you. REMEMBER YOU ARE NATURE and fold into your rhythms of solace. With love in our hearts and harm reduction on our minds, we will get through this. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF and HUG THOSE AROUND YOU. i love you. let’s keep going.