staring into the sun
grace /ɡrās/ noun meaning courteous goodwill.
cour·te·ous /ˈkərdēəs/ adjective polite, respectful, or considerate in manner.
good·will /ˌɡo͝odˈwil/ noun friendly, helpful, or cooperative feelings or attitude.
My final Birdhers meet up of the summer was over at Smith and Bybee Wetlands. Someone in the group so randomly spotted a rare peregrine falcon perched in a tree. I thought that would be the highlight of the day, but as we walked through the forest, Han asked us all “how many egrets do you guess we will see when we turn this corner?” I guessed seven, feeling like seven egrets was the highest number I could imagine. And then I turned the corner to a field of 150 counted egrets and plenty of great blue herons with their rookery in the trees just beyond! and holy shit if life didn’t scream, “DREAM BIGGER!”
It wasn’t until I was back unpacking all my treasures that I realized my 7 year old friend Izzy had somehow predicted this moment a month before it happened and captured it in a painting he gifted me.
I am just over one week back in Michigan after my summer themed in FERAL GENEROSITY. The ease of living in a shared reality. I’m thinking about time and how to use it wisely. The Greeks, in their wisdom, had two words for time, “chronos” (χρόνος) defined as linear, sequential and quantitative time (how we have shaped our calendar) and “kairos” (καιρός) defined as qualitative, in-the-moment time signifying the opportune moment for action. Call it the movement of some holy being in our lives, who I know as LOVE. Coincidence, serendipity, divine appointments. How do we create more moments for kairos within all of this chronos? How do we redefine productivity or reclaim what it means to live with efficiency?
My life is magical and I have sobbed every day I have been back and rearranged furniture as a type of praying.
My life is magical and I intentionally highlight that magic to generate hope.
My life is magical and I am living in a big challenge after surviving many other big challenges.
My life is magical and I’m bringing the wisdom of every hard moment before now into every interaction in my present moment.
My life is magical and I am so loved and so held by many many lovely people. Many—but not all—of them reside in Portland, Oregon. At least one time, I got to see pretty much every person who reached out to me. I efforted for twice or more and never had enough time. I am thankful that is one of the best problems to have in this life.
One place I spent a lot of my time that I want to talk about was an outdoor classroom with some of my most special friends THE REFRAME COLLECTIVE. I met Caitlin while they were leading musicals and plays at Sunnyside Environmental School, where M attended. The music and scripts were created in collaboration with the kids and other artists and are a subtle art of disruption with lyrics like “we need diversity to get through this adversity” or what does it mean to be a bystander vs an upstander, and so many more. This last year, I signed M up for their peer group offering THE RAINBOW SCHOOL, where not only did my child receive the most supportive, creative, authentic social and emotional learning, but I also felt seen, valued, and supported in parenting in ways I hadn’t experienced before. In the influence of Caitlin, M grew more into their fullness as a person & I believe I did as well.
Caitlin is maybe the smartest one of us I have ever met. Such a masterful communicator and non-hierarchical info sharer, a natural born teacher with 20+ years of experience. Our community Virgo always offering a gathering, a creative class, a clothing, a food, an idea, a hope. Caitlin is carrying a torch for huemxnity. Life issued an enchanted match to Caitlin in another rad person I get to know: blue o’connor—engineering brainiac, gender disruptor, the epitome of do no harm take no shit, equanimous preschool teacher. Caitlin is a magical thinking sea witch who brought blue back from the edges of death while navigating the bureaucracy and failings of the healthcare system. IM ONLY PRAYING TO THE WILL OF CAITLIN QUINN FROM NOW ON. They have both partnered together for a better future. They made a baby who is the most fierce, contrary six year old who keeps you on your toes with her brilliance. And I am telling you what these beautiful, fiery animal huemxns could destroy us all and instead they are using their powers for good, to build us up and to show up for learning + love. Do yourself and your children a favor and go enjoy their offerings. They are building the world you want to live in, so support them & support yourself!
BE OPEN TO THE GOOD
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND ENERGY
(see if you find yourself here)
You are a dragon boat being seen.
You are the answer to your question.
You are the storyteller of a future on its way.
You are a latte with a cookie in the morning.
You are a hand hold on a bikeride at sunset.
You are a long walk in a cemetery.
You are the ridiculous imagination to befriend.
You are step beyond the threshold.
You are an apple tree with a trampoline.
You are the pollinator in motion, making your way.
You are the time to linger in the bookstore.
You are the last dance of the night.
You are alfresco dinner on blanket with trees waving.
You are a rainbow of dye vats on a 100 degree day.
You are a porch sit with a friend.
You are a school of art and time.
You are a gifted ride to a far neighborhood.
You are a berry bush with free snacks.
You are a misunderstanding we figured out.
You are the waterfall we didn’t expect to see,
Reminding us what we can find when we are lost.
You are the sketchbook of an eight year old.
You are 10pm ice cream and a Beyonce album.
You are a bubble machine and a blue sky.
You are an early morning practice at practicing.
You are a treasure hunt on the beach.
You are everything I want under $5 at Trader Joe’s.
You are the coach from my town naming what’s possible.
You are the chocolate I take my time with.
You are the meal those hands made with love.
You are a guerrilla fairy garden on 21st avenue.
You are the language of inspired creativity.
You are a four leaf clover in a garden of roses.
You are poems out a window and on a roof.
You are my favorite bench in Laurelhurst.
You are a room full of blissed out kids.
You are the Ceaser Chavez sign yelling I’m not alone.
You are the tshirt she’s wearing telling me I’m loved.
You are the delight you witnessed in them.
You are a package in the mail with my name.
You are every bird and every flower I have seen.
You are the light I still see when I close my eyes.
You are the awe, you are the miracle.
I chose the name ALICE for this newsletter because of the serendipity of different Alices that came up in a vision board style collage I made at the start of 2021 to try to usher in inspiration in living. ALICE reminded me of the words ALIKE and ALIVE.
WE ARE THE ONES WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR Novelist Alice Walker, best known for The Color Purple, used the painful experiences of her youth in her activism (her “rent for living on the planet”) and writing. She told us “no person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." She also happens to be blind in one eye.
IF I HADNT BEEN AN ARTIST I COULD HAVE BEEN A PSYCHIATRIST Artist Alice Neel was no stranger to grief. The loss of her child helped her see with eyes of empathy and her paintings were expressionist portraits of women, children, immigrants, people without work, artists, activists, poets, and other psychiatric patients she lived with. She healed through art. Neel represents a society in crisis during the Great Depression with overcrowded psychiatric hospitals, an increase in alcoholism, and a rise in domestic violence towards women and children.
WE ARE ALL MAD HERE The character Alice in the story Alice in Wonderland written by Lewis Carroll (a math professor and church deacon). This story was birthed out of Carroll’s love of paradox and nonsense that had him playfully story telling to his boss’ three young children (naming his main character Alice after the middle child). Alice was a protagonist"courteous to all” who falls through a rabbit hole into a fantasy world. Alice represents the ever curious child self, calling attention to the importance of imagination and creativity in our daily lives to challenge our understanding of reality and encourage us to question what we think we know.
HERE TOGETHER // NEVER NOT CONNECTED // THANK YOU FOR READING