invest in your life
the most important things in life are mutual and free.
give yourself a full minute to hold the silence. hold the spaces in your body that feel uncomfortable. hold the joy of the crow in the sunshine, who’s found food. hold the suffering of a dear friend who’s lost someone close. hold the vastness & wisdom of the universe. hold the poem of your pet relaxing into your loving touch.
stand up, pull your shoulders back, plant your feet evenly and widely apart, and open your chest. Then breathe deeply. Three counts, in through your nose, out your mouth. Then high five yourself for doing so much just by reading this.
I’ve been thinking about a guy I know bopping around the Three Sisters range years back. I want to preface this story with the following info: The three sisters are closely spaced volcanic peaks in the cascade volcanic arc. Named three sisters by an Iroquois legend, said to be engaged in a conflict between men, they made home where they were. Later, missionary colonizers named them FAITH (north peak, complete trust or confidence in someone or something), HOPE (middle peak, a feeling of trust or expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen), and the tallest and most likely to erupt, CHARITY (south peak, the voluntary giving of help to those in need). side note: I have a tattoo of this range on my forearm after spending a special solo trip camping there.
So this guy and his friend are exploring this area, moving quickly to the top, when a storm starts coming through. At first, they find a spot to hide away in but realize if they stay too long, they’ll get stuck there without resources. Their only choice is to descend in these terrible conditions that they are completely unprepared for.
They tie a rope to each other’s waists. One of them holds onto nearby trees or rocks as hard as they can, while the other sort of flings down the mountain side. They take turns doing this until they make it all the way back down.
Something about the last week feels like this. It’s fucking brutal out here, but I have a strong sense we are in it together, taking turns flinging each other along.
FEELINGS REPORT //
in my birth chart, i have seven placements in the first house (self) in the sign of libra (connection, justice, & balance). I’m a recovering codependent with a trauma brain and fall on the neurodivergent scale increasingly more than I previously understood. (shout out to kids as teachers) Honestly, this comes with a lot of frustration, a schedule cushioned with necessary sensory recovery time, and a weird heartbreak. I free cry my sadness and joy equally. I struggle with small talk and get to matters of the heart quickly, I love hearing people’s stories. I hear spirit by recognizing patterns in others as a collection of data. Making and the creative process are part of my recuperation. Embodiment that resembles yoga and dancing and breathing is turning into my rehabilitation. A beautiful part of my experience is that I feel deeply connected to the oneness, all of us a drop of water in an infinite ocean. Each of us a part of wheel, born with purpose, meant to help the world turn along. In that way, we truly are never not connected.
virgo full moon creating systems that work for us and revealing where we can be in service. a more sustainable and expansive future is possible. this is some hard work in figuring out the ways of daily living in harm reduction as abolitionists—where we might make ourselves whole enough to make space in support to others.
SOME THINGS IM PAYING ATTENTION TO
We are moving to Michigan very soon. I need to be with my mom. Come take my things and hug me tight on my way.
the work of diedrick brackens
SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE on HBO if you’re looking for a realistic pick me up about friendship and innovative ways of playfulness.
I got to let my inner teen out with some sweet teens and therapeutically belted to emotive Olivia Rodrigo’s album. that bridge in “driver’s license” lives rent free in my head. I STILL FUCKING LOVE YOU BABE. but OR wrote a feminist anthem for high school musical the series I watched with Mae about being so much more than the male gaze pigeonholes womxn into that’s a solid jam. THE KIDS ARE COOLER, MORE TALENTED, AND MORE PRESENT THAN US.
my neighbors pointed out how some of these camelias turned blue because of a cold snap and the lighter ones bloomed after. i love the mix.
maybe you can tell me about something youre inspired by or reading or watching or listening to or seeing in response to this email.
a list i made with/for mae when they were six to try to explain to them what we had actual control over.
this excerpt from nikita gill
9.
This issue of ALICE is dedicated to a friend and teacher CELESTE EMIKO KAMAHA’O RODERO / DIGDOGDIG who’s work on self healing as anti racist consciousness has touched my heart and directly pointed to changes I needed to make or things I needed to accept that whiteness kept me from. Click through for a large body of emotional labor that is FREE INFORMATION.