don't you go to war with yourself.
HELLO MAH FRANDS. It’s hard to find motivation to write something with all that is present. and I’m just going to write. I am resistant to naming here what is happening because I already know we are all feeling it and it’s fucking heavy. And I also think naming things helps connect to the power we have over it.
We are marking two years of pandemic living, Texas is after trans kids yet again, Biden wants to get the police more funding without addressing any of the systemic issues outlined by years of mass protest, the world is on fire and no one who needs to is taking it seriously, and we are in some world war three power grabbing bullshit. I’m waiting for a combo of becoming an overnight millionaire and the sky unzipping to alien contact so I can finally fill my pandemic bingo card.
There’s a saying among the emotional intelligence geeks, “gotta name it to tame it”. To tame something means to draw it closer. It makes me think of how we find purpose in the things that break our hearts.
It feels like people are devoting themselves to new jobs, new places, new relationships that are right fits for this time. We are in the collective stage of getting very clear on how we integrate CARE. The level of care required by us if we want to become the ancestors we hope to be. Abolitionists are creating an emotional climate necessary to end modern day slavery—they are builders of community safety, well-being, accountability, and harm prevention. They live in the understanding of the complexity of harm and indispensability of humanity. My field notes tell me this comes down to starting where you are. If we can only meet others where we are, is there room for you to be a little kinder with yourself? Or at the very least, feel deserving enough to allow someone’s kindness to reach you?
The world needs us to deconstruct the shame it’s bombarding us with. There’s a buddhist parable about two arrows that comes to mind so I’ll leave it here. Something like the first arrow that hits you is the suffering that is a part of life. But how the second arrow is the hard time you give yourself about it. Both are painful, but we have agency over the second arrow.
LET THIS DARKNESS BE A BELL TOWER by Rainer Maria Rilke
Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,
what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.
Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29
FEELINGS REPORT // excerpt from the REFRAME COLLECTIVE that gave me hope
“For us, these last few years have needed a framework beyond our own sense of time and space. Astrology has felt like the right size container to hold the enormity of these times. When we are experiencing things globally, it feels fitting to look at them from an even bigger picture.
Understanding our planet's placement within our solar system — and giving context to the happenings we are experiencing through recorded maps of the stars — is extremely helpful in understanding ourselves and the patterns that we go through collectively as humans.
We share a lot about the seasons and the cycles of the Earth, ((specifically for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere)) but there are also seasons and cycles of the stars and planets as well.
While we are fairly new to learning about the magical science of Astrology, we know that people have been watching and charting the stars for millenia, and that there are recorded patterns we can predict, observe, and learn from.
For example, if you were to look out into space and see Pluto right now, it would be in the exact same place in the sky as it was on July 4th, 1776, during the birth of The United States. This moment in time is referred to as a Pluto Return, and comes every 248 years.
We can look back through history and see other instances of Pluto's returning, and notice what was happening with humxns and civilizations during those periods. When we learn more about what the planet of Pluto represents for us, we can be better prepared for what's in store over the years to come.
When we can zoom out and remember that humxns have been through upheavals before, and that Earth time is different than Star time, we can hold more perspective on these fleeting moments of fear and uncertainty. “
This issue of ALICE is dedicated to the Crisis Group’s Watch List of ten countries facing deadly conflict, humanitarian emergency or other crises in 2022 : Ukraine, Afghanistan, Palestine, Ethiopia, Tunisia, Sudan, Kashmir, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Lebanon, Venezuela, & Columbia.
I LOVE YOU ALL // NO FEELING IS FINAL // KEEP GOING